Tucker James. Born 4.24.13. 6 p.m. (5:59 to be exact) 7 lbs 12 oz. 21". 

This little guy is now 17 days old. We're absolutely in love with our little monkey.

What a crazy experience this all has been! So here's a rundown on all the chaos...

4/22
I had my regular 39 week check-up with Doc. I was at a 4 and the amniotic sac was "bulging" through the cervix. (What kind of a term is that?) Doc notified me he was going out of town on Thursday so he wanted to induce me the next day! I freaked out. I cried as I left the office because it really didn't hit me until then that Baby was coming soon.

4/23
6 pm: My mom arrived from Salt Lake.
8 pm: My mom, Tyler, and I checked in to the hospital. Tyler had a final exam the next morning at 9 am so we were in a hurry, hoping Baby would arrive before then. Little did we know he was going to take his sweet time...
10 pm: I'm induced with Pitocin. Still at a 4.

4/24
2 am: I start to feel my first pain. It was just dull lower back pain. No contraction pain. I'm only at 6!
6 am: I get the epidural. (Still at a 6. Pain is not any worse. Just feels like bad period back pain.) I didn't really think the epidural was painful, just shocking and weird feeling. About 10 minutes later I feel no pain at all. I felt the best I felt since I got pregnant. Absolutely no aches or pains. It felt pretty dang good. Oh, and in goes the catheter. How pleasant.
7:30 am: Still a 6! Doc breaks my water. Tyler decides he's not going to his test. I guess a baby takes priority. For the next few hours we just hang out, take little naps, chat, and watch tv.
3 pm: I am finally a 10.
4 pm: I start pushing. Through the next hour I'm pushing hard but Baby is going nowhere. My contractions actually get further apart and weaker. Apparently my uterus doesn't know how to deliver a baby.
5 pm: Doc gives us a talk and says we have three options: continue pushing with little hope of progress, use a vacuum, or c-section. The last thing I wanted was a c-section so we opted for the vacuum. Doc suctions it onto his little head and through the next hour pulls way hard on the attached string (Tyler said Doc's hands were shaking he was pulling so hard) as I push as hard as I could. I was pushing so hard my glasses were steaming up. With two pushes left to go, Doc gave me a wicked episiotomy, cutting from hole to hole.
6 pm: After 20 hours, little Tucker made his appearance! Doc plopped him on my tummy and immediately my mother bear instincts took over as I started acting a fool, freaking out because he wasn't making any noise. He got cleaned up and while he did I asked to see the placenta, immediately throwing up afterward. Gross. We snuggled and got acquainted.

The next two days in the hospital were pretty horrific. I swear my tailbone broke in half it hurt so bad. I couldn't really move at all while I was in the hospital. The first time they got me up to go walk to the bathroom I blacked out. I lost a lot of blood from the episiotomy. I proceeded to look like a legit ghost for the next week because I had no blood left in my body.

The recovery's been rough but we are just so happy to have little Tucker here and that he is healthy! He had jaundice but not enough to go under the lights and it's all gone now. He's been a lot of fun so far. He makes the funniest faces! And I could just stare at him all day. He definitely looks like his dad when he was a newborn, except for the hair. Tucker's got brown hair and a lot more of it than his dad did. He's pretty active and actually doesn't sleep a whole lot. He hates to have his diaper changed and would love to be on the boob all day if he could. Breastfeeding was really rough the first week until I called a lactation specialist and she told me to lie down. Hello! Huge difference. We're learning a lot and are loving getting to know each other.

Welcome to the world Baby Tucker!

i think it finally hit me this week that this baby is coming soon. pregnancy is pretty miserable and i'm ready to be done but i'm almost more nervous for the delivery and to be a mom.

i feel like being a new mom will be like the first year teaching. you learn so much in college about how to be a good teacher and you think you're prepared, but the thing is you have to first learn what works for YOU while you're actually teaching. there's really no way to anticipate what techniques are best for you before you actually get there. i think that's why there's so much information, different theories, and opinions on how to be a good teacher (and a good mom), because different things work for different people. i've read quite a few baby books, a lot of articles, and talked to a lot of new moms and i feel somewhat prepared but i know it's going to be a huge learning curve as i learn what works for me and Baby.

the first year of teaching was not pleasant. it was rough because it was so much trial and error. i'm thinking the first bit of being a mother will be the same. although that's pretty daunting to me, i know i'll learn and will eventually figure it out.

i'm not totally freaked out about being a new mom. i'm pretty excited too. i can't wait to see this little guy. i can't wait to see what he looks like, how much he weighs, if he has tons of hair like his mom did or is a bald baby like his dad was, and what his little personality will be like. i'm excited to meet this little man whom i've never known on this earth but who will forever be a part of my family.

i'm now 36 weeks and the end of this pregnancy is still not as bad as the beginning. i hated feeling nauseous all.the.time. the worst part of it now is just feeling absolutely ugly and huge. the only time in my life that i felt uglier than now was on my mission. that's a hard one to even come close to. but i've gained 50 lbs now and my hands, feet, and face are permanently swollen. sleeping's not been so good lately with the raging heartburn and aching hips. but besides bad sleep and looking like the stay-puft marshmallow man, i'm otherwise feeling good.

tyler had spring break this past week and enjoyed just taking it easy. he did do a lot of work for me as we (he) finally started to put the nursery together. he had a birthday on wednesday, turned the big 27, i took the day off of work, and we got to enjoy the day together with dinner and a movie. it's weird to think that going out on a date won't be so easy anymore or even possible for the first little while. i'm just so thankful we had so much time together to enjoy things like that.

being pregnant has made me appreciate a lot of things, mostly tyler. it feels like he loves me more now than before, which i don't get. i really do love him more now than when we got married, also something that i never got before but now do. pregnancy's also made me appreciate my mom and mother-in-law and all the other moms that i know who have been through this before, multiple times. it's also helped me appreciate my ability to get pregnant.

this is at 34 weeks. we brought a delicious chicken dinner to the beach. i love where we live.

30 weeks

I'm in the 75th percentile for size - feeling large and great about it

Feel the best in the past few weeks than I did previously: no back pain, no nausea, no heartburn, no more headaches, great sleep-not sleeping with pillows, few trips to the bathroom - I'm not expecting all this to last long but grateful while it is

Feet are starting to swell - sometimes just looking morbidly obese 

Starting to snore apparently - what the heck? Never knew that was a pregnancy side effect

Still feeling very exhausted from little tasks, like blow drying my hair or getting dressed - Worst part of my day? Trying to put on my socks and boots

Loving how baby's become my little portable heater - I hate being cold so I'm appreciating the constant heat I feel

Eating like a boss - for the first time I'm eating as much as Tyler and I usually finish meals before him and yes, it's showing - weight gain: 40 pounds

Worst part of pregnancy right now: Not fitting into ANY of my clothes
Best part of pregnancy right now: Feeling the baby move, especially those little feet and elbows

10 more weeks to go!

25 weeks

I'm now 26 weeks and starting to get uncomfortable. I can't imagine what it will be like near the end. My lower back hurts most of the time and I have weird upper stomach pain, like stretching muscles or something. I sleep with a pillow between my legs and under my belly. Baby moves a lot at night and that can sometimes keep me up. Sometimes I just have a hard time breathing comfortably. I've gained 30 pounds already and doc says I'm bigger than normal. Yup... But baby is healthy. I passed the glucose test this week. By the way, I thought the glucose drink was delicious! Just tasted like a sugary sprite. I bought a new ring from Claire's; my hands are permanently swollen. I still sometimes wear non-maternity shirts and pants, but I probably shouldn't. I'm loving Ross and have bought most of my maternity clothes there. We haven't started the nursery yet or bought many things. It's overwhelming so I'm procrastinating. Tyler's back in school and I'm really hoping that baby comes a little early or on time because his finals are a week after my due date! I'm planning on working right up until baby comes. Thankfully I have a low-key job. I can't imagine teaching while pregnant. Well, I'm feeling good and getting excited to meet this little guy.

we finally found out that baby is a BOY!!! we are so excited! when we first got pregnant, i really wanted a girl, but as time passed, i felt myself really wanting a boy more. i just feel like it's good for the oldest. tyler obviously really wanted a boy from the very beginning so he's super pumped. we do have some names we like, but no decisions yet.

finding out the gender was also our very first ultrasound. it was so cool to finally see him! i was surprised at how big and developed he looked. i guess it's easy to just always imagine that little kidney bean.

the ultrasound tech said everything looks good and healthy. he is heavier than average, weighing one pound at 21 weeks.

i'm feeling really good right now. my back has started to hurt so i had to get a new chair at work and use pillows on the couch. he is moving all the time. i don't think 20 minutes goes by without me feeling him. we've both seen him move too now and that's pretty cool. i don't feel overly hungry or have any weird cravings. but i am starting to crave healthier foods. i'm in love with apples right now, so i guess that's a step up from cheese and potato chips. my hands are starting to swell and my ring is not working out too well anymore.

this christmas we're staying here in florida. it was pretty overwhelming (and costly) moving out here so we decided not to go home this year. but we did have an awesome vacation to the keys this weekend, just a little 4 hour drive from our house. we spent saturday in key largo, sunday in key west, and monday in bahia honda. i loved key largo! it's quiet and beautiful. key west is a lot of fun but it's very touristy and crowded. and there is no shortage of weirdos there.

apparently all the birds do fly south for the winter

 

key largo

our little hotel

sunset in key largo

 

visiting the little white house in key west

eatin some way good seafood

 

the crazy key west cemetery

walking along key west streets

saw a lot of boats

bahia honda beach

 merry christmas!

20 weeks. feeling large and in charge. i guess i really look pregnant now.

i felt the baby for the first time on thanksgiving day and now i feel it all the time. it's pretty cool but also kind of creepy sometimes - just to know there's something in there that isn't me.

i'm feeling really great. no sickness at all. the only bad thing so far this trimester has been lots of people telling me my face is getting chunky. oh the honesty of some people.

all my coworkers know now. one of the girls asked me if i was pregnant at 16 weeks. did nobody learn anything from brian regan?? never, ever.

so besides the fat face, other new things are feeling seriously hot all the time (my office is freezing but i'm always over there borderline sweating), linea negra appearing, and i can't stand on my feet for more than an hour or else they hurt super bad (probably from the 20, yes 20, pounds i've gained). no stretch marks...yet. i know it's all hereditary but i can't help but slather on the cocoa butter every morning. no weird cravings. and we still don't know the gender. ultrasound is next tuesday! we both really feel like it's a boy.

tyler has his last final for his first semester in med school on wednesday. then he's got almost a month break. he's super pumped. it's been a really busy semester for him. med school's pretty intense. he doesn't have any big plans for his big break, mostly because i'll be working every day except christmas. i suggested that he could prepare the nursery but he wasn't too keen on that idea.

speaking of christmas, doesn't it look nice and wintery here in florida? it's pretty weird going outside in the morning for work in december and being hot. but i am not complaining. although i love a white christmas, i do not miss the snow or the freezing cold. don't forget that we'd love visitors!

i refuse to post any belly pictures until i actually look pregnant and not just bloated, so you're not going to see that for a while, but for anyone that cares to know how my pregnancy is going, you can read on.

i'm 15 weeks now and i feel awesome!  pretty much as soon as 14 weeks hit, i stopped feeling nauseous. i feel it a little in the morning and if i haven't eaten for several hours, but besides that i don't feel sick at all. i'm getting these massive headaches though. i'm seriously hungry all the time. what i want to eat most is cheese, potato chips, top ramen, baked potatoes, and iceburg lettuce. two healthy things out of five. not too bad, eh? i still haven't told my co-workers. this is an awkward situation for me because it begs the question, "is she going to quit?" but they've got to be wondering why i'm stuffing my face all day and poking out in the middle.

i'm trying to be healthy and exercise and all that, but let's be honest, i'm just barely keeping my head above water with a full-time job and full-time calling. church here is so different than utah, or idaho, or california, or any other place i've been, except armenia. it's actually quite similar to armenia. just to give you an idea: the fort lauderdale mission is the highest baptizing mission in all of north america. every week there are at least 2 baptisms in our ward. so what does that mean for a young women's leader? going to baptisms, visiting young women investigators with the missionaries, visiting new members, retaining new members, activating a lot of inactive members, giving rides to church and mutual, etc. it's extremely demanding and church is, well, not relaxing anymore. but i still love it. i love being useful and knowing that i'm doing good. i love these girls. it just takes some getting used to.

tyler is also in the young men's and is staying really busy. medical school is a lot of work but we know it will be worth it. we're both really excited to be parents and to find out whether this little bugger is a boy or a girl. we're loving fort lauderdale right now where the mornings are nice and crisp, the days are perfectly warm, and the leaves are still bright green.

well, it's true. tyler and i are going to have a baby! i'm 13 weeks now; baby is due late april.

we've been married for 3 years and for me this has been a perfect amount of time without any pregnancy/kids. we've been able to spend so much time just with each other - learning who we are and how to make each other happy. since i've been pregnant i've been a horrible wife. i can't stand to go in the kitchen so i don't make dinners anymore and i can't stand the sight and smell of dirtiness so i don't clean very much either. i always feel like i'm going to puke which surprisingly to me makes cuddling and touching pretty much impossible too. so i am so thankful i had those three years with tyler to be a really good wife. we also went on a lot of adventures together - living in arizona and texas, road trips, and cabin vacations - which i could see being really difficult with kids. i knew once we had kids things would change a lot and the last thing i wanted was to resent my pregnancy or my kids.

yes, i realize that i'm 28 now and no spring chicken, but my growing age never really pushed me to get pregnant earlier either. having kids absolutely terrifies me. i know i'm totally naive about it all, but i do know that it will be extremely hard and it never stops. i'm not the most energy-filled person. i love my breaks. i'm a dinner and a movie kind of girl; an ideal friday night is watching a movie on the couch with my husband. and i know being a mom will require endless amounts of energy. the responsibility is daunting too. i want to have smart, disciplined children that are strong members of the church and i know that will not be easy. i also wanted to have good experiences as my foundation before i tried to be a good mother so i'm really glad i was able to serve a mission and be a teacher for three years before having a family.

but i have always really wanted a family of my own, so here we are. we started trying to get pregnant in june. when i took the test in late august and saw the results, several different emotions flooded through me. my first reaction was gratitude. i have a lot of friends and family who have been trying for a long time with no success and i thought that would be me too. also, i'm pretty convinced that i have endometriosis. i've never been diagnosed but i have all the symptoms to a t, so when we were trying, i wasn't very hopeful. after i felt gratitude, i did have a moment of, "oh crap. what did i just do???" that feeling surprised me, but i think it's legit. this a life-altering, permanent change so, yes, it scared me a little. after that i just felt excited, mixed in with a bit of nervousness now and then.

i'd say my first trimester was pretty typical: a lot of nausea from morning to night, no throwing up but some dry heaves, strong food aversions (pretty much anything home-made), food cravings (pretty much anything fast food - especially subway and french fries), weight gain (8 lbs-all my pants are already a no-go), heightened sense of smell (i've been buying a lot of air fresheners), headaches, and exhaustion. i haven't experienced frequent bathroom breaks or moodiness...yet. just this last week i started to feel a little better. i don't feel as nauseous but i'm constantly hungry so i still eat a lot. i show a little bit in tight clothes but it mostly just looks like i just ate a cafe rio burrito.

i am really excited and really grateful to be pregnant. there is no greater calling than being a mother and while the depth of that scares me, i'm also excited to grow closer to heavenly father by taking care of his children. i'm happy with how my life's gone up to this point and i think there are good things to come.

i just made pumpkin coconut soup from justcookalready (compliments of jenna vela) for the third time and am wondering why i don't make it every day. tyler and i would both agree that this is the best thing i've ever made. it's sooo good! although it's still 90 degrees and green here in florida, i had to make soup today so i could feel like it was fall. i just have to keep telling myself that i will be so thankful for this weather come january. i wanted to include the recipe so you can make it. seriously, you won't be disappointed.

pumpkin coconut soup

ingredients

5 tbsp. olive oil

1 medium sized yellow onion

3 cloves minced garlic

1 inch grated fresh ginger

1 tsp. ground cumin

1 tbsp. chicken base or  2 bouillon cubes

3 cups chicken broth

1 can cooked chicken (or you can use 2 chicken breasts... but canned chicken is easier and tastes better in this recipe)

1/2 butternut squash, peeled and cut into cubes

1 15 oz. can pumpkin puree

1 14 oz. can coconut  milk

2 tsp. salt (more to taste if you'd like)

1-2 tsp. pepper

1/4 bunch fresh cilantro

directions

1. preheat oven to 425 degrees.

 

2. chop the onion into small, even pieces and grate the ginger with a fine grater.  in a large stock pot, add 2 tbsp. olive oil over medium heat. once the oil has heated, add the chopped onion, ginger, and minced garlic to the oil and stir.  cook for about 5-7 minutes until the onion is mostly cooked through (it will be translucent).

3. while that's cooking, peel your butternut squash and take 1/2 of it and cut into about 1/2 inch cubes.  in a small glass pyrex dish, add the cubed squash and pour 3 tbsp. olive oil over top. add a sprinkle of salt and pepper. mix together so that all the cubes are coated in the olive oil. make sure the pieces of squash are in one layer (no overlapping) so that they can cook evenly.  bake in your oven for 25 minutes.

4. By this point, your onions, ginger, and garlic should be ready.  add 1 tsp. ground cumin and stir, allowing the cumin to get all toasty and fragrant, about 1-2 minutes. 

5. add pumpkin puree, coconut milk, chicken base, chicken stock, and drained canned chicken (or chicken breast). if you're using chicken breast, cook over medium heat in a skillet with a few tablespoons of olive oil. cut into small pieces. add to the soup once cooked through) stir together and mix completely.  up the heat JUST A TAD so that you can bring the soup to a simmer.  add 2 tsp. salt and 1 tsp. pepper (again, you can add more after this if you'd like.  depends on your taste buds.  mine ask for salt). allow to simmer for 25 minutes so that everything heats through and the chicken becomes very tender.

6. when your squash is done, remove from the glass dish, making sure to drain away any access oil, and add to the soup.  allow to simmer and cook for about 10 more minutes.

7. take a bunch of cilantro and rinse it, shaking it well afterwards in the sink.  remove the leaves from the stem and give it a rough chop.  when the soup is finished, dish into a bowl and add the cilantro leaves.  a squeeze of lime wouldn't hurt.

makes 3 large bowls or 4 smaller bowls

here are a few changes i make: 

* i use 2 cans of chicken instead of 1. if you like a lot of meat in your dishes, use 2 or perhaps 1 1/2. i didn't think 1 was enough.

* i actually skip the butternut squash altogether. the first time i made it, the squash was really hard for me to peel and took a long time to prepare. i found that it adds great texture to the soup but not a lot of taste. so for me, the added texture isn't worth the struggle and time.

* sometimes the store is out of fresh ginger, so i'll use 1/2 T dried ginger instead. fresh ginger is better, but dried ginger works too. 

 

ok now, try this recipe. it's so perfect for fall and winter and will make you so happy.
 

i got a job! whew, finally. it took me over 100 applications and six weeks of daily applying. i never thought it would be so hard. i'm basically an office assistant for a legal service company. i mostly process serves. i have no experience with law so i wasn't sure that i would get it, but for what i do, experience isn't really necessary. it's perfect for me though. it's relaxing, i get to sit down and go at my own pace, but the work volume is really high so i'm constantly busy and the time goes by fast. i'm so thankful it worked out. we fasted for just that one purpose this month and two days later is when i got called for the interview. it was the only interview i was even offered for all 100+ applications.

the weather's really awesome here; don't get me wrong. but i am feeling really homesick for fall. i love fall so much - just until december when all life dies - and there is no fall here. it feels like summer all year here. i miss utah more than i thought i would. but i always do get more homesick than i think i will whenever i move. it'll probably just take a few months and i'll get over it. probably right around jan/feb when i usually hate life in utah, i'll be liking the 70 degree temps here.

tyler's still working really hard in med school. he likes all of his classes except biochemistry. he studies all the time, usually until 10 p.m. and sometimes gets up at 5:30 to study before his 8-hour block of classes. now that i'm working until 6 p.m. too we never see each other.

well, life's good and i'm starting to get a little more comfortable with being here. i'm just really thankful for all the answered prayers.

here are a few things that i've been up to lately...

painting furniture

 frames

 pots

 chairs

 and mirrors

i mostly just work on our house all day and i'm really liking how it's turning out. it is nice to have so much time to just work on it. i've learned a lot about painting and crafts and such, all those things i never had time or energy for when i worked.

it's weird to think that if i was in utah i'd be starting a new school year right now. i am glad i'm not teaching - it really was not my favorite - but i'm also so eager to work, to be busy, to have purpose to my day. i'm still on the job search...

i've really been thinking a lot about trials lately and i can say from first hand experience that i know God allows trials in our life because they draw us closer to Him. i've thought more about Him and my relationship with Him lately than i have in quite some time because of hard things in my life, and that is a great thing.  

this last little while has been hard. we're finally in more of a "house" rather than an apartment and i've been anticipating making it a home. since we'll be here for four years i came out here with all sorts of ideas of what to do with it and how i can actually make it ours. well it's been more work than i thought. i don't think i thought it out actually. painting is not fun. painting furniture, yes, is ok. but rooms, no. every wall in our house has now been painted except the small bedroom. whew.

on top of all the house work, i can't find a job. i've applied to about 40 jobs and haven't heard a single thing back. i thought teaching for 3 years would have qualified me to do something, even secretary work, but apparently not.

i also just found out that i have an eye condition that doesn't allow me to be in the sun very much. me, no sun?? just when i move to florida! there are other things going on too that just aren't working out. the repeated disappointments and struggles have really been pressing down on me.

but i am getting through it and every day is a little better. a lot of prayer and blessing-counting is helping.

we've met a lot of the lds students that go to nova and most are from utah and really fun. they all have 2+ kids though. our ward is really interesting. i'd say it's about 60% haitian and the rest is latin american or white. some of the accents are so thick i can't understand them. they have baptisms every week but a lot of inactivity.

tyler's in his 3rd week of med school now and he's liking it. he's gone all day, except for an hour when he comes home to eat dinner. he's working hard and i'm proud of him.

dania beach, 15 mins from our house

 

we are in florida! it's been such a chaotic month: packing, moving across the country, unpacking, painting, tyler starting school...i'll write more later when my mind is more put together. the beach is beautiful. it's humid. and wonderful. we're busy and happy.

we just got back from a pretty epic northwest road trip. rather than mostly tell, i thought i'd show. enjoy the pics.

 

 tyler's driven over 80,000 miles with no windshield cracks. within the first few hours of our trip, we had this beauty and actually finished with two more.

 chillin at the cabin on hebgen lake, montana

 

 buffalo right by the cabin

 love the playmill in west yellowstone. saw dirty rotten scoundrels.

 hiking bighorn pass near the cabin

 camping at glacier np

 saw a bear!

 hiking the falls in glacier

 deer right by our tent

 fresh local wild in vancouver bc

 capilano suspension bridge in vancouver

 the cliff walk

 tyler aka sasquatch in stanley park, vancouver

 pike place fish market in seattle

 piroshky! a russian food we ate all the time in armenia. tasted nothing like it though.

 bellevue botanical gardens near seattle

 tabor czech food cart in portland

 powell's bookstore in portland

 rose garden in portland

 multnomah falls near portland

 camping on the beach in redwood np

 driving through the redwoods

 near our campsite on the beach