i remember last stake conference when i was pregnant thinking about this stake conference and how i would have a 6 month old baby. i thought about how big he would be, what he would look like, and how he would act. well, this stake conference with our little 6 month old was one of the best conferences i've been to. tucker was super wiggly so tyler took him out almost the entire time and i got to just sit and listen. elder oaks was there, a pretty big deal since our stake hasn't had an apostle visit in almost 20 years.

i'll be honest, being a mom has been hard on me. i feel like there's so much on the line and that i just keep messing up. but i think that is part of being a mom; there has to be trial and error. and oh, there's a lot of error. anyway, elder oaks brought me comfort knowing that i am doing what god wants me to do when he said, "if you are married and have the opportunity to have children, but are choosing not to, you are ignoring a vital step in heavenly father's plan." as hard as it is throughout every single day and night, i know this is what i'm supposed to be doing and learning right now.

the closing hymn in conference was "because i have been given much." i couldn't help but feel the message this was giving me. being a wife and mother, i have never given so much all the time in my whole life, with the exception of my mission. i feel like i just give, give, and give even when i feel like i can't give anymore. but i realized during that hymn that i have basically taken most all of my life. and now it's my time to give.

so now at 6 months tucker is...

* using consonants. he says "gee," "mamamama," and "babababa" all day. i'm counting "mama" as his first word. :)
* sitting up. he still tips over every once in a while, but has it pretty much mastered.
* getting super wiggly. i don't even want to think about this boy as a toddler.
* getting his knees far underneath him when on his tummy but still hasn't gotten up on all fours.
* loving his dad. his whole face lights up when daddy comes home.
* getting bored of his toys. i take him out somewhere every day because he'll just whine if he has to play with the same old toys all day.
* hating his bath. he'll scream through it lately. i'm going to try doing it earlier in the day because i think he's just tired when he has it right before bed.
* starting solids. i just gave him his first oatmeal cereal today and he wasn't really having it. i'm hoping he'll warm up to it.
* eating really well. i'm so glad to have breastfeeding under control (for now).
* still sleeping horribly at night. i started reading healthy sleep habits, happy child and have implemented some of the tips. it's really helped! last night was a lot better, so i'm hoping it lasts. but i am planning on cry-it-out in the next week or so. heaven help me.

on another note, i recently read "my story" by elizabeth smart. i read it in four days which is pretty astonishing if you know my reading habits. for some reason i love these real-life kidnapping stories, like a stolen life by jaycee dugard. anyway, i thought elizabeth wrote the book really well. i was a senior at east high (the school she went to) when she was missing. and the night she was kidnapped my friends and i were out toilet-papering in her neighborhood. but wow, she went through hell. i didn't realize that not only did he rape her everyday, but he also made her get drunk and do other nasty things all the time too. whenever i think i have it bad, i remember her. it's really interesting the little miracles that happened along her journey and how much she thought about and didn't lose faith in god. what an inspiration.

some recent pictures of our tucker bear...

 loving daddy time

 everyone needs a "special" picture, right?

 loves his jumparoo

crazy kid, loves to hang upside down