Tyler & Jodi

i'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. yesterday was my second anniversary and i spent it on the couch with a big bag of doritos, watching countless episodes of keeping up with the kardashians. (can i just mention how ridiculous they are? who wears $75,000 earrings in the ocean? it's so entertaining.) anyway, it was pretty crappy.

i feel single again. but not the fun single with exciting escapades with other single girls but just the boring pointless single. blah.

five months. that's how long cumulatively tyler and i have been apart since we've been married. i guess i agreed to all this though, so i really can't complain...much.

although life's been less than pleasurable lately i have had some really cool experiences where some serious prayers have been directly and quickly answered. so thankful for prayer.

today i went to my very good friend, anna's baby blessing. two frightening things happened.

1) i spoke to armenians for the first time in four years.

um...armenian...yeah. i suck. i couldn't understand 25% of what they said and my grammar was horrible! it was not fun. but i accept that i'm not a missionary anymore. i'm a wife and a teacher. it's not my job to know armenian as perfectly as i once did and i'm ok with that. it still kind of hurts though.

2) i held a tiny fragile baby.

so precious and adorable, but let's be honest, babies scare me to death. now i grew up basically a part of the babysitter's club. i was always babysitting and i loved it. but now that i realize i could (and probably should) be a mother by now it freaks me out. the longer i'm married and the longer i teach the less appealing having a child seems. there's nothing attractive about it to me. i could go on and on and list 100+ reasons why i don't want kids, but let's face it, tyler's going to make me do it eventually, so i better just buck up.

thankful for a break from work tomorrow...so i can go to the pool and watch some more kardashians...and perhaps clean the house and be productive.