I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of this deep dark tunnel...5 more days of school...8 more days til I'm with Tyler. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...


Hmmm...kind of wish we were in Tucson again this summer...I mean, I'm excited for the cultural and beautiful Portland and all, but c'mon! Rainy, cloudy, and 60's compared to sunny and 90's? BTW, anybody have good suggestions for things to do in Portland???

why does knowing i only have two weeks left not even feel much better than when i had six weeks left?

for the love! i'm dying. slowly slowly dying away. i feel mentally like i did physically when i drove three hours in the middle of the day in the middle of summer in the middle of arizona...without air conditioning. suffocation.

i've been trying to keep myself busy to make time pass quickly. i've been volunteering at the ymca, helping kids with homework. i like elementary age kids but they actually seem harder to teach because they're so adhd. they're always moving around and can't focus. they're a little cuter than jh kids though. i also went to an african dance class recently which kicked my butt. it was fun to be the student again though.

i miss tyler so much it's unreal. but then i think about my friend jenna who won't live with her husband again until september, and i don't feel so bad.

seriously i want to poke my eyeballs out. but i won't. i'll carry on and continue my pathetic countdown: 9 more school days and 14 days til i see tyler.

on a brighter note, i'm glad the world didn't begin to end today because i'm very much looking forward to my tv lineup this week: ai finale (i'm definitely team scotty. he's a natural, although i can't handle the way he holds the mic.), bachelorette and sytycd premieres.

in other news, tyler now has two siblings out on a mission. his brother talon entered the mtc on wednesday, getting ready for the netherlands/brussels mission. (his sister is in russia.)

carry on, carry on, carry on!

sonya tayeh - you're a freak! pure genius and inspiration. can NOT wait for sytycd.

um hello! one of my favorite singers and one of my favorite choreographers TOGETHER...can it get any better? (oh yeah, don't mind the awkward camera angles.)

ok, FOR THE LOVE! time: i hate you right now. i'm trying not to be a debby downer right now, but seriously i am d.y.i.n.g waiting for school to end and to be with tyler again. will i survive? we will see...

what do you like about being a woman?

two of my favorite women

since i became a woman i've realized something: we are keeched!

"keech" is the armenian word for jipped, short-changed, screwed, whatever. keech just sounds so much better.

really, i'd rather be a guy! in general (of course there are always exceptions) we get paid less, we're less athletic, we're emotional and generally less stable, we bleed in our underpants accompanied by abdominal pain that's guaranteed once a month for a whole week, we have to take birth control, sex is painful and sometimes frustrating, we have to continually dodge the outside world's attack on our self-image and self-esteem, we have to be pregnant for nine months that's accompanied by permanent damages to our body, we have the pain of a human being come out of us, etc., etc., etc.

and according to my friend, doug rasmussen, men are better than women at everything. (i won't even get started on that maddening conversation.)

keeched i tell ya!

so i try to be positive and think about the things i really love about being a woman. and sometimes i sit and think and think and think...

there are things i like. i feel like we're generally more spiritually inclined. we're more compassionate and loving.

but i'd really like to be more proud of being a woman and learn to love it! i want to be glad i'm a woman and stop wishing i was a man. (this sounds weird, doesn't it?)

so help me out, what is it that you really love about being a woman?

dance concert #4 is over.

it was kind of a disaster.

the main stage crew member didn't show up. (i won't even get started on the stage crew this year.) the music was low on the stage so the dancers could barely hear it; one dance had to start over in the middle. the black lights fell half way off the stage. students broke performance rules.

i told myself, i'm never doing this again. (yeah, i said that last time too.)

but...the students were happy and excited. the parents loved it.

and i'm just glad it's over.

it's funny how the things you dream of doing when you're younger aren't quite as glamorous as you thought they would be.

ah...four more weeks...

(am i seriously not even half way done with my separation from tyler?? you've got to be kidding me!)

sometimes gossip is a good thing?

This last week was pretty painful. But I feel like the worst is over. I usually miss Tyler right away and as time passes I forget about him. No! JK. But it gets almost easier for me. He is the opposite. So yeah, he doesn't miss me right now.

So why is gossip a good thing in junior high? Well because you can tell your first period students that your personal ipod and expensive dock that you use for dance every day was stolen from the auditorium and it will take about three hours for them to be returned to you.

I was pretty panicked when I opened my locked closet door in the auditorium and found my ipod and dock missing. I hardly made it through first period, crying in front of my students (embarrassing). So word got around fast and those that were responsible at least had enough guts to return my equipment by lunch time. I still don't know how they got in there or when and why they were in the auditorium but now I've learned my lesson to keep my stuff with me always. And I've learned that gossip can be a tool in a junior high.